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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has long been the reliable retreat for daily publications, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and milestones, particularly within football. Readers were entertained to discover that an online journalist a famous broadcaster possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs in his house. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who understood the bathroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the controversial forward entered a community college to use the facilities during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then came in and was asking the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit from the England national team after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback by Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|